CrankyMan's Blog

On Sunday evening, a young lady says her car was rear-ended by a Pasco County Sheriff's patrol car which then sped away with its roof lights activated. The hit and run happened on US 19 near Holiday, in west central  Pasco County. Sheriff's officials inspected every car on duty Sunday night but so far had not found any damage from a collision. Thje damage would have been on the side of the vehicle.

Pasco Deputyies are allowed to take their patrol cars home when they are off duty.

In an unrelated incident on Tuesday afternoon, a deputy on his way to work had a single car accident in his patrol car. He told investigators the car began to yaw (a side to side motion) and it ran off the road and hit a utility pole, a garbage container and a barbed wire fence, coming to rest on its right side. This happened in San Antonio - near highway 52 that runs from Dade City over to Holiday.

The car suffered damage on both the right and the left sides.

Didn't Lt. Columbo or another shrewd TV detective solve a crime when he proved the damage caused by a hit and run driver was almost covered up by a second accident?

I wish the Pasco deputy a speedy recovery, and I certainly hope that a detailed forensic examination is made of the police cruiser so the unfortunate deputy will not have any cloud of suspicion hanging over his head as he heals from his injuries.




.

Four controversial decisions were made this past week, all of which had a serious foundation in law, yet have drawn criticism from many who thump the tub for "stricter laws" and stronger law enforcement.

Let us examine these one by one.

1. The 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that the $550,000 fine by the FCC against CBS for the Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" during the SuperBowl was arbitrary and capricious. The court found that the FCC did not follow established principles in law before fining the network.

2. A different panel of that same 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals also struck down the flawed Child Online Protection Act for violations of the first and the fifth amendment. The law would have been overly broad according to the court, restricting adult access to important health and medical information as well as other things which are perfectly legal for adults to watch.

3. Locally a judge ordered some dogs returned to a breeder after the Suncoast Animal League and law enforcement officials seized the animals from what the Animal League calls a puppy mill. The judge's ruling outraged animal lovers, but they seem to be missing the point. The judge had no real choice as the seizure was illegal.  The Suncoast Animal League, which usually does good work, neglected to get the proper authorization for the raid, and thus they had no right to keep all the animals. Hopefully they'll change their operating procedures so they don't make this error again. But, in the meantime let's stop all the outrage at the judge. There shouldn't be any outrage, but a "we're sorry" from the Animal League might be a nice gesture.

In blunt terms, an organization with no legal authority came in and took away property from the owner. In most cases, we would call this theft. The Animal League is lucky not to be facing criminal charges for their lack of legal authority, which they likely could have obtained after presenting proper evidence.

4. The 11th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals has ruled that Florida law requiring "civilians" to stand during the Pledge of Allegiance is unconstitutional. There's a certain irony here as those who demand the standing and reciting of the pledge would likely claim to be supporters of the U.S. Constitution. Yet, the requirement is clearly unconstitutional according to the court. Over 50 years ago, the U.S. Supreme Court held that local authorities cannot compel a salute to the flag.

A forced tribute is no tribute at all.

All four of these situations, where ill-informed folks are upset with what they call "activist" judges, underline the rule of law and the role it plays. Those who are outraged by the decisions should learn that just because they don't get their own way - doesn't mean that the law is bad, only that there are rules that must be followed. Ironically, they're often the folks who want to impose their own rules on others.

There's a lot of bad law, but the constitution isn't one of the problems.

On the heels of the FCC's spanking by the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals, a woman is suing the city of Daytona Beach, claiming that her arrests for being topless in public are unconstitutional, because men are allowed to walk around topless.

Elizabeth Book claims the city unconstitutionally arrests women, such as herself, for allowing their breasts to be seen in public. She held a news conference on Monday to announce the suit.

The city of Daytona Beach has an ordinance against baring breasts for any reason other than breast feeding, Ms. Book claims there are studies which show that the laws forcing women to cover their breasts actually objectify women's bodies. Conversely Ms. Book says that by baring their breasts, women may exercise more control over themselves and not feel so compelled to submit to "unsafe surgical procedures" to alter their bosoms.

Elizabeth Book has been arrested in 2004 and 2005, but in 2006 the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals upheld a Volusa County judge's opinion that she did have a right to protest topless on the Main Street bridge in Daytona Beach.

She is represented by Mark Tietig of Merritt Island. Please remember to include the e in Mr. Tietig's name.

The U.S. 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals has soundly spanked the FCC for their outrageous fine of over half a million dollars for CS-T showing 9/16 of a second of Janet Jackson's breast.

Basically, the court made note of the fact that the FCC had for decades ignored "fleeting expletives" and had never publicly announced any change in their enforcement standards. They called the sudden move, in the face of a well-organized campaign by the religious right both arbitrary and capricious.

As well, they told the FCC that its rulemaking failed to show CBS had any  "scienter knowledge" of the supposed wardobe malfunction.  Scienter knowledge is a concept that the offender had "guilty knowledge" when the offense was committed.

The 102 page decision didn't surprise many people who understand regulatory law. Feel free to read it yourself, it is on the Court's website http://www.ca3.uscourts.gov/opinarch/063575p.pdf.

Today is D-Day, teh sixth of June. This year it falls on a Thursday. By knowing this fact, and remembering some simple facts, you can then calculate which day of the week a given date falls on for the entire year.

Amazingly, the 4th of April, the 6th of June, the 8th of August, the 10th of October and the 12th of December fall on a Thursday as well. So every year, 4/4, 6/6, 8/8, 10/10, and 12/12 fall on the same day of the week.  So that takes care of five of the even numbered months. Now remember 9 to 5 and 7-11. The 9th of the 5th month (May) and the 5th of the 9th month (Sept.) are also on that day of the week. So's the 7th day of the 11th month (Nov) and the 11th day of the 7th Month (July), and so is the last day of February.

Knowing those facts, you can quickly calculate which day of the week any date during the year falls upon using simple addition or subtraction.

The City of Tampa is looking at "naming rights" for city facilities, and putting ads on city vehicles like they do on the inside and outside of the bus. This is supposed to bring in more money to the city. Do not expect this to lower your taxes.

Selling ads is a great idea though. The trick is to find the right match between advertisers and the location of the advertising.  Athletic shoe companies and sports medicine clinics would be ideal advertisers for the various city amateur sports fields, along with makers of sports drinks, althletic underwear and of course sports bars for the after-game beer and munchies.

City of Tampa building inspection vehicles could feature ads for Crisco or Mazola oil, or some other slippery substance that wants to pay extra to become the "Official Palm Grease" of the City of Tampa.

Bail Bonds companies would probably jump at the chance to advertise their services with signs in the back seats of police cars.

Personal injury lawyers would be delighted with a big ad on the ambulance ceiling in view of the patient who is lying on their back.

There could be a big bidding war between Viagra and Cialis at the fire department, over which one gets their ad on the hoses and that big hydraulic extension ladder.  Even Joe Redner would likely buy ads for his adult petting zoo on the fire station brass poles.

There might be a problem during election periods when there are too many political ads. I think most of us would agree that they should be restricted to garbage trucks, preferably the really smelly ones.

A friend in the toy business passed along a news release that is supposed to come out later today, involving Fox13's own Chief Meteorologist Paul Delegatto.

For immediate release April 1, 2008

TOP TAMPA WEATHERMAN TOUCHES OFF TOY DEMAND

(Tampa) -- Major toy stores will soon be stocking the Junior Weatherman Harness, after hundreds of youngsters asked their parents for a Paul Delegatto outfit. The sudden demand came after the youngsters watched the daring Fox13 Chief Meteorologist perform a death-defying inspection of the new radome atop SkyTower13 (tm) late last week..

The harnesses, made in China by Finnish based Sloo-Flirpa Industries, will be available in fashionable highway worker Day-Glo (tm) lime green or in wide stripes of reflective caution yellow and black. Spokesman Poisson d'Avril assured customers that, If the sales are successful, the company hopes to introduce a lead-free version at a slightly higher price."

While Delegatto will receive no profits from the sale of the Junior Weatherman Harness, a portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Nathan Detroit Fashion Institute, a favored charity of Delegatto and his tailor.

I've watched this unfold, with 40-something teachers accused of turning to 17 year old boys to satisfy their lustful urges.  I've had enough, and I suspect that you have as well.  Please join me in providing these unfortunate and quite needy ladies the proper and legitimate outlet for their passion.

One of Florida's untapped resources is old fat bald guys. There may be more of us here than in any other state.  I think it is time we stepped forward and offered ourselves as potential... uhhh... playmates for these women who need love and affection.

Often they're burdened with spouses who work too many hours, who have other interests and responsibility and these ladies don't get the tender care and affection they crave.  I call upon other gentlemen of quality who still have the charm, warmth and tenderness that could keep a 40ish female teacher happy and content on a part-time basis. 

This would likely cause problems for some retired guys who are married, but I believe there are enough of us single retired guys that we could start having an impact right away, and we could save these unfortunate ladies from lengthy prison terms as well as saving these horn...uhhh... these young impresionable boys from psychological trauma.

I do hope you will see fit to support this noble cause. Do not send money, simply refer 40sih ladies who are in danger of a tempting forbidden relationship to seek out the comfort of a fat, bald retired guy instead.

Thank you for your support.

The passing of Dick Fletcher, a beloved weatherman at Channel 10, brought out a very human dimension to the folks we see every night on TV. Tampa Bay's TV news folks were all classy enough to put the normally high-spirited competition aside for the day.

I saw Paul Delegatto with a touching tribute to Dick Fletcher as Paul sat in the Channel 10 studios chatting with Dave Wirth about his memories of Dick. John Wilson stopped by to praise Dick as well, as they worked together for many years before John came to Fox 13.

Even more important were the sincere  thank-yous from the channel 10 folks that the Fox 13 folks were kind enough to come over and share their thoughts, feelings and stories with the Channel 10 audience.  That's pretty classy too.

Journalists, especially the TV folks, get a lot of criticism these days. Next time you're tempted to criticize, remember how kind and classy  the TV folks were with the passing of a legend in Tampa Bay.

Sometimes it is difficult to write about issues where I have a strong opinion without offending folks, but on this one I'm going to try.  I should point out that it is not my nature to try to offend people, that's pretty well the job of the government.

As well, I see little conflict between science and religion. Science basically wants to observe things and draw conclusions.  Religion wants to fill a spiritual void for many.

Anyway, I'm delighted they've agreed to the label "Scientific theory of evolution" for teaching the theory of evolution in Florida's classrooms.

Scientific theories are much different than other theories. I may have a theory about who committed a crime, (Colonel Mustard in the library with a lead pipe) or which wine to serve with pizza, but these are different from scientific theories.

A scientific theory is not a guess or a hunch as it often is amongst us in conversation. A scientific theory is based on a consistent behavior of certain phenomena observed using scientific methods. 

Stephen Hawking in his brilliant  A Brief History of Time, goes a little further. He says "A theory is a good theory if it satisfies two requirements: It must accurately describe a large class of observations on the basis of a model which contains only a few arbitrary elements, and it must make definite predictions about the results of future observations." He adds, "Any physical theory is always provisional, in the sense that it is only a hypothesis; you can never prove it. No matter how many times the results of experiments agree with some theory, you can never be sure that the next time the result will not contradict the theory. On the other hand, you can disprove a theory by finding even a single observation which disagrees with the predictions of the theory."

Still with me? Good. The point is that tby calling evolution a "scientific theory" it gives a good science instructor the opening to point out the requriements of scientific theory, and how often, after peer review, scientific theories eventually become accepted as apparent truths until they are disproven.

On the noon news Russel had a great story about Tatas. 

He showed us the dozens of rnews people who showed up to shoot photographs, video and just to get an up close look at the shiny new Tatas that were unveiled on stage in India. Most of them were men.

The Guardian claims the new Tatas will be "reshaping the nation" and proponents of the new Tatas say they're certainly big enough for a family of five.

Would you want any of the new Tatas? Are they big enough? Are the headelights too prominent? Do you believe their support system is strong enough? Would you recommend the new Tatas to your wife or female friend?

What do you think?

Students in the Georgetown University Law Center can now sign up for Prof. Walter Sharp's The Law of '24' course. Here's the description from the course catalogue:

“The award winning Fox Television drama series 24 explores America’s fictional response to international terrorism through the eyes of Jack Bauer, a U.S. counter-terrorism agent. Oftentimes without remorse or regard for the law, Agent Bauer is willing to do what has to be done when faced with the threat of kidnappings, assassinations, nuclear detonations, and bioterrorism on U.S. soil — despite traitors in his family, his unit, and the White House; partisan politics; sleeper cells; and hidden agendas. This course provides a detailed understanding of a very wide-range of U.S. domestic and international legal issues concerning counterterrorism in the context of the utilitarian and sometimes desperate responses to terrorism raised by the plot of 24.”

Life does imitate art.

Every year, the therapists at the Zephyrhills Insitute for the Bewildered send along a suggestion for my annual Christmas message. This year the underlying theme seems to be the quality of our lawmakers.

We have criminals buying phony license plates, using phony insurance and phony identity documentation and then driving around banging into law abiding drivers with no way to hold them accountable.  The state regulates driver's licenses, auto insurance, and license plates. Lawmakers and their staff are paid good money to make sure the public is protected. Why are the criminals smarter than our lawmakers?

Here's another bewildering item. Why is it that lawmakers have to cruise men's toilets for uhhh, "companionship"? If they were any good at being lawmakers they could just pick up the phone and have a lobbyist arrange it all.

The tax and home insurance issues are also bewildering. Why is it that these problems have been solved in most other states?

On the positive side, let's thank the guys (so far) who are performing the worst job in law enforcement. That's hanging around smelly toilets waiting for lawmakers to uhhh... tap their feet.

Otherwise, all is well here at stately Crank Manor, and thanks for asking. May you all have a terrific Christmas and a safe, pleasant and rewarding 2008. May the God of your choice bless you.

Why do the three finalists for the Florida State Song all sound as if they were written in the late 17th century by dour Scots who were afraid of catchy melodies?

The judges should have declared a mistrial and started over if this is the best they could do. All the tunes sound vaguely the same and none of them are likely make the majority of Floridians proud, patriotic, or even want to remember the lyrics.

Some states have great state songs. On Wisconsin (same melody as the U to of W fight song) is a rousing crowd pleaser. I mention that first because I'm a former trombone player and the trombones carry the melody in On Wisconsin. John Wilson is a former trombone player too, but he fortunately learned another musical skill.

 A former Louisiana Governor penned a hit song which is one of the state's two official songs, Jimmy Davis wrote  "You are my Sunshine." Georgia wisely adopted "Georgia on my Mind."

Another hit song is a natural for Oaklahoma. They adopted the title song from the Rogers and Hammerstein musical. "OOOOOOOOO-klahoma where the wind comes sweeping cross the plain...." That's going to get a crowd on their feet in no time.

Kansas adopted "Home on the Range" while Tennessee boast the Patti Page hit "Tennessee Waltz" and "Rocky Top" as two of its several state songs.

New Hampshire has a lot of state songs for such a small state. They have eight honorary state songs, and two official ones, "Old New Hampshire" plus one just adopted this year called "Live Free or Die" which would be great as a rock anthem.

It is time for the judges of these unfortunate tunes to offer us all an extra choice on our ballots:   NONE OF THE ABOVE!

My heart goes out to all who were affected by the tragic death of Jordan Hayes who was run over by his own church's float in the Plant City Christmas Parade.

The natural human reaction, even during the grieving period is to search for ways to prevent a similar tragedy.  Among the suggestions so far have been extra police and lining the parade route with barricades.

Both might work, both are expensive, and both would fall by the wayside eventually as memories of Jordan's tragic death fade from public attention.

Let's look at a system that could be virtually free and it could involve the community organizations.  All that is needed is a group of volunteer citizens, from a service club, a charity or fraternal organiztion or two who would be stationed about every hundred feet or so along the parade route in highly visible highway safety vests - and San ta hats if you want to get fancy.

Let them keep people from crowding into the street. Most folks want to obey the law, but as soon as someone moves forward onto the road, everyone else seems to think it is OK if there's no one around to ask them to step back.

That's all that is needed. Most of them will have cell phones, so all they need it a number to call if a problem erupts. But in most cases the fact that there's someone present to make things safer for the children will cause responsible families to step back onto the sidewalk.