Tallmanok2's Blog

 I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it
 up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
 
The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since
 they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me
 when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the
 bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should
 not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to
 calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
 
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.
 
The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were
 not having any of it.
 
After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out.. ..a
 likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw.. .my
 rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.
 
I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a
 good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it
 was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.
 
I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on
 the rope and then received an education.
 
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there
 looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you
 start pulling on that rope.
 
That deer EXPLODED.
 
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger
 than a cow or a colt. A cow or a c olt in that weight range I could fight
 down with a rope and with some dignity.
 
A deer-- no chance.
 
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling
 it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and
 started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer
 on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
 
The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other
 animals.
 
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me
 off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes
 to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the
 big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
 venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
 
I fig ured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
 would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.
 
At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that
 moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was
 mutual.
 
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly
 arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks
 as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
 recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of
 responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to
 have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between
 my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like
 a squeeze chute.
 
I got it to back in there and I started moving up s o I could get my rope
 back.
 
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have
 thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I
 reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.
 
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they
 just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost
 
like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.
 
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw
 back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
 ineffective.
 
It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it
 was likely only several seconds.
 
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by
 now) tricked it.
 
While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up
 with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final
> lesson in deer behavior for the day.
 
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their
 back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves
 are surprisingly sharp.
 
I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at
 you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is
 try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal.
 This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
 
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not
 work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy.
 
I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.
 
The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run fro m a horse
 that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the
 back of the head.
 
Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as
 strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run , it hit me
 right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
 
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately
 leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they
 do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying
 there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
 
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
 
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.

I got this in the mail but being opening day I had to share it