alfadawg2's Blog

UNDECLARING MY CITIZENSHIP

Becoming Illegal (From a  ?  resident to his senator)

The  Honorable ( Pick a name)
Senate Office Building
309 Hart
Washington DC,  20510

Dear Senator ???????,

As a native (Pick a State) and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
and  for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions
is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United  States for
five years, all I need to do  to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000
fine and no income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good
deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before
everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using  the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could
save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden
of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car
insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have
college age  children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would
be most appreciative.

Thank you for your  assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

(Your name here)