Jason Bloch's blog

Number One Idiot of 2008

 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady.  Wear it with pride. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Two Idiot of 2008

 Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys.

Don't get it wet; the paint might run~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2008

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number Four Idiot of 2008

 A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Idiot Number Five of 2008

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

 This guy doesn't even deserve a sign ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Idiot Number Six of 2008

 Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idiot Number Seven of 2008

 I live in a semi-rural area (Weyauwega, Wisconsin). We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!

Ok, first off a guestamation is a guess and an estimation for tyhose of you who don't know that.

Now, my guestamation is about the winter. My guestamation about the winter is we are going to have 2 inces of snow and we are going to have a lot of bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter cold. You know, like 10 below for highs and stuff like that. 

Whats your guestamation about the winter?

You know that speedbusters link i put on my last blog, well that didn't make any sense to anyone apparently.

I come home from school and there is a car sitting on my neighbors front lawn. The girl in the car was apparently going north and ended up on the south side of the street. She took out the light post two houses away form mine. I don't get it. She had to of been talking on the phone or texting of something to distract her. And she also had to be doing more than the posted speed limit which is 35. Sooo, i don't know. Any input??


BTW - For those of you who didn't get the link it right here:

http://www.todaystmj4.com/features/specialassignment/25
990144.html

was my last post. IT has been a long time and i have nbeen busy and been through some hard times. In 7th grade and in 2yeas, high school. Yeah that is almost a year. so umm hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

 one of those things was: http://www.todaystmj4.com/features/specialassignment/2
5990144.html yes click this link

 

THis webstie finnally let e back in!! for the past 2 months, evbery thime i try to come to the blog or wake up page, it syas something like "Server Applaction A/// unavaable"  and a whole bunch of G's and f's.

 well it is good otbe baack.

 

Look at the license plate.. Ohio Heroes....make sure you look at everything well.  
                                             
 

The Flag is under the fenders behind the wheels.




Open up your screen all the way
























Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.
Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.
Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.
Had no army, yet kings feared Him.
He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.
Feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us.
If you believe in God and in Jesus Christ His Son..send this to all on your
Buddy list..if not just ignore..In the Bible, Jesus says..."If you deny me
Before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven."
GOD BLESS YOU ALL ( if you can't see the pic i posted them in my album.

Click on "Absolutely beautiful!!!"  Make sure your sound is on.

Absolutely beautiful!!!

Note:  only so many can view this per day...You may have

to wait a day to see it...  well worth the wait

I holmehome fom the hospital!! I cashed on my bike and the handddle bar tuurned and hit me in the stomach. It bused me on the inside. it happened on tuesday an i got home last night.  It was oure torcher i tell ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever since the MyFox went on lock down, I have not gotten any e-mails about new comments, blog subscriptions or anything. I have been e-mailing Amy about it and i have gotten nothing. But she did say she  ids workinging on it. But miss them. And my mom  misses the blog subscription to fox6weather notes.

 

 

So has this happened to you?????

 

THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA
The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly it's true! 
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
 And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative, 
Not a thing was found 'online.'
 So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,' 'Scan' and 'Paste' her, 
And send her back to me.
 
 
This is a tribute to all the Grandmas
who have been fearless
and learned to use the Computer........
They are the greatest!!!
 
We do not stop playing
because we grow old;
We grow old
because we stop playing.
NEVER Be The First To Get Old! 

 
 
 

Author and lecturer, Leo Buscaglia, once talked about  a contest he was asked to judge. The
purpose of the contest was to find the
child with a good heart and the most caring.

The winner was:
A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.  When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

***************************************************
Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color than
the other members. One of her students suggested that he was adopted. A little girl said, "I know all about adoption, I was adopted."
"What does it mean to be adopted?", asked another child."It means", said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!"

****************************************************
A four-year-old was at the pediatrician's office for a check up. As the  doctor looked in her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?"  The little girl stayed silent.

Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat.  He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the little girl was silent.

Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?"

"Oh, no!", the little girl replied, "Jesus is in my heart... Barney's on my underpants."
****************************************************

On my way home one day, I stopped to watch a Little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind
the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was.  "We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile.

"Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged."

"Discouraged?", the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face... "Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet."
**************************************************
Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott.

Jamie was trying out for a part in the school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen.  On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to
collect him after  school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with  pride and excitement.

"Guess what, Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will  remain a lesson to me....."I've been chosen to clap and cheer."
**************************************************
An eye witness account from New York City, on a cold day in December,
some years ago: A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold.  A lady approached the young boy and said, "My, but you're in such deep
thought staring in that window!"

"I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes," was the boy's reply The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he
could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.
She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.

She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, "No doubt, you will be more comfortable
now."   As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her .
"Are you God's wife?"

************************************************

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and
this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what
the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be
institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket  because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
want a bed near the window?"  

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin.

Copy and paste into an e-mail and send this to all of your friends in the next 5 minutes
and a miracle will happen tonight

I just had a major computer crash and the password for the jokes user is programmed into my laptop. And i can't remember it for anything so what do you want me to do?

 

I should be up and running at the latest on Friday.

 

BTW -  i am testing put my grandmas new back-up laptop. Works good. her other one is about to go kaput!

Can they make an "other" blog space, you know, where the stuff we have to pos does not have to do with news, or weather, polotics, sports (ect.)

 

 

Please world, i am eing nice to you. Please be nice to me.

 

BTW- I have to post this under entertainment, because ther is no other!