Holiday Happenings

Fort Collins -

 Avery House  Holiday Open House

Come visit the Avery House in all its Christmas splendour. The Carriage House will be open Friday, Saturday and Sunday with goodies for sale. December 5th, 2008 & December 6th, 2008 11:00 AM - 4:00 PM  Also, On the evenings of Dec 5 & 6, Victorian ladies and a Victorian gentleman will descend the stairs of the Avery House and read Clement Moore's traditional Christmas story to children (ages 4 -12) gathered around the tree. Two sittings are being held each evening, one at 5pm and another at 6pm. This event is appropriate for children ages 4 - 12 and they must be accompanied by an adult. There will be tickets for 20 children at each sitting. After the reading, children and adults are invited to the Carriage House for refreshments. The cost is $2/per child with refreshments included. join us for this first time very special event! 5:00 PM - 7:00 PM

http://poudrelandmarks.com/plf_avery_house.shtml>

Don't miss the Woodward Governor drive through Christmas Display in Fort Collins!

MAP - http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Fort+Collins&state=C
O&address=Drake+And+Lemay

PARADE OF LIGHTS   http://www.denverparadeoflights.com/

Northfield "SYMPHONY IN LIGHTS" is really cool!

Holiday Happenings at Northfield!

 

 

What's Happening at Northfield Stapleton
this holiday season:

Don't miss Northfield Stapleton's spectacular light show set to the music of Trans-Siberian Orchestra. 
It's a one of a kind treat for your eyes and ears...and it's FREE!
Shows nightly 6 - 9pm through December 31st

http://www.northfieldstapleton.com/info/symphonyinl
ights08.cfm

BASS PRO SHOPS OUTDOOR WORLD - SANTA WONDERLAND!

http://www.basspro.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CF
Page?storeId=10151&catalogId=10001&langId=-1&appID=94&t
emplate=listallevents.cfm&storeID=43#37509

                       MERRY  CHRISTMAS!                      

I know i need to update the Christmas Toy thing and can hopefully tie it all together but something happened over the weekend that I need to share and get some thoughts on.

With Shelly's now debilitating disease ( fibro myalgia for those that are new ) she is taking alot of pills and they, as well as the diesease, mess with alot of things about her. She can't concentrate very much. She is in pain all the time. Well I could go on forever but this thing of getting hot is what I want to discuss.

At night she gets hot...and then she gets cold...then hot...well you see the pattern. So first we try sleeping of course with the window open and our down comforter. Apparently using free nature's design doesn't quite do the trick. So I am racking my brain when my mother brings over the American version of the Chinese Water Torture.

The Floor Standing Oscilating Fan.

I am sure some of you have these and probably love them, and i guess they are pretty spiffy...but this piece of machinery is not designed for the bedroom.

Bear with me while I get this out.

So we set this thing up last night and get into bed and the lights are off and we get under the covers and we are getting some breeze...ahhh that is nice I think and start to drift off to sleep...but then a breeze hits me in the face...and then it's gone...and then it's back...and then it's gone...so now I can't sleep because my brain is trying to figure out when the next cool blast of air is coming so in my head I am counting seconds and can never time it quite right because apparently my math teacher either sucked or I just can't count so I am always a second or two late or too early so I decide to put my head under the covers to avoid this but damn I can't breathe under here it is too damn hot so I pull my head out from under the covers anticipating the cool wind of wonderfulness to take away that heat but it's not there and so I am dissappointed and then it is there but now it is not needed because I am already cooling down and now i am just cold again so I try to go to sleep but the timing problem comes back into play so i get up and smash the thing against the wall which wakes Shelly up and she asks...

"Babe what are you doing?"

to which i sheepishly reply..

"Trying to figure out why this damn thing is broken"

Dave





please note I just turned it off but in my mind that was what I did

Well everybody, the year is coming to an end so I thought I’d give my year end wrap up of the silver screen

 

Best Comedy:

Tropic Thunder

 

There was some tough competition this year with movies like Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Pineapple Express, Role Models, Get Smart, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan and many others but I feel Tropic Thunder topped them all. This movie was a blast. Absolutely hilarious, I almost fell out of my chair a couple times I was laughing so hard and at least once I seriously could not breathe. One of Ben Stiller’s better performances and movies, Jack Black was funny but Robert Downey Jr. was easily the funniest man in the movie. This movie is priceless and filled with so many great lines.

 

Best Action Movie

Doomsday

 

This movie was just plain fun to watch. Rhona Mitra was really good as was Bob Hoskins and Malcolm McDowell. I really enjoyed that in the fenced in area half the people went Mad Max wasteland psycho and the other half went 16th century kingdom, very entertaining.

 

Best Comic Book Movie

Iron Man

 

I still am so thankful for Brian Singer to have made Comic Book movies popular and give them some credit. This year was the biggest year yet for Comic book movies. We had Hellboy II, Wanted, The Incredible Hulk and of course the two biggest and almost rivals, Iron Man and The Dark Knight. I know, Dark Knight was huge and made billions and everybody has been raving about it. I loved it too but I think once you get over the hype and drama of Heath Ledger’s death, the movie was good but almost too serious and I’m not gonna lie, the way Christian Bale talked as batman really got on my nerves after a while. Iron Man I thought was so perfect. Robert Downey Jr. blew me away as Tony Stark, portraying that role so perfectly I actually believe he was born for that role. Terrance Howard did a great job as James Rhodes, I am very disappointed he has been forced out of the sequels. Gwyneth Paltrow was a perfect Pepper Potts. And of course, Jon Favreau did an amazing job directing this movie, I had my doubts about this character on the big screen but he really pulled it off. This movie was just plain fun to watch and I keep watching it and love it every time. It’s funny, it’s exciting and the performances were all top notch.

 

Best Drama

The Bank Job

 

This movie was fantastic. It’s based on an amazing true story and was done very well. To all the people who say that Jason Statham can’t really act, I highly recommend seeing this movie, he was absolutely fantastic in it, I would almost say an Oscar worthy performance. The story was great, all the actors were amazing and it was just overall a great movie. I will admit that The Curious Case of Benjamin Button looks superb and will report on that when it comes out.

 

Best Family Movie

WALL-E

 

I love Pixar so I was pretty excited about this movie. It’s a little unconventional and interesting in that there’s virtually no dialogue for the first 30 or 40 minutes, therefore this movie is very visual and relies mostly on “body” language. This movie was highly entertaining and very funny and even though there is an environmental message in it, this movie, unlike many others including happy feet, doesn’t beat you to death with that message leaving the movie very enjoyable.

 

Best Documentary

Religulous

 

Granted I only saw one documentary this year but it was fantastic. Bill Maher was hilarious as usual and had many great points to present. This documentary was very simple, present facts and ask questions about people’s religion that they should know and see them try to explain it, excellent. I recommend everybody see it.

 

Best Horror Movie

Cloverfield

 

I thought this movie was really fun to watch. J.J. Abrams did a fantastic job. The creature was terrifying and the action was great. I liked the idea of shooting it on a handheld camera and I loved that as an audience member, we had no idea what was going on, just like the people “filming” it. I feel this made the experience that much more interesting.

 

Best Sequel

Step Up 2 The Streets, yeah this movie was absolutely amazing I can’t even, oh my god I just couldn’t finish that sentence. No, the real best sequel is:

 

The Dark Knight This movie was really good and the performances were great and the story was even better. I’m not going to talk about this one anymore because everybody knows what it is.

Biggest Surprise

Speed Racer Hated by critics and audiences alike, I found this movie very enjoyable. My favorite review I read about this movie the writer described the movie as “two and a half hours of fuchsia vomit” I respectfully disagree. I think the reason most people didn’t like it is because they were expecting some kind of serious movie when in fact it’s a movie based on a Japanese animation cartoon from the 80’s that was ridiculous and over the top and so was the movie. To me, this movie is just fun to watch and the effects were awesome.

Biggest Letdown Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull I love the Indiana Jones movies, they are some of my favorite movies, but I really wish that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg had left this series and character alone. One of my biggest problems was Shia LeBeouf’s character, he was annoying, the whole swinging through the trees with the monkeys scene just pissed me off, and the fact that they are trying to “pass the fedora” I flat out hated. They should have left his character in the greaser fight and never said he was Indy’s son. I didn’t care for the fact that there were actual aliens in it. I was waiting for this movie because I love the character but I left the theater wishing they hadn’t made it.

Best Movie Nobody Saw In Bruges There were many movie that came out this year that I rushed out to see but that apparently nobody else had even heard of, much less actually saw, and I recommend them all; Choke, RocknRolla, Run Fatboy Run, CJ7 and several others. My favorite was In Bruges about two hit men hiding in Bruges, hence the title. The cast was excellent, Brendan Gleeson, Colin Farrell and Ralph Fiennes. This movie was very funny with a great story and shocking and hilarious ending.  

Best performance Heath Ledger I still can’t tell whether the fact that he’s dead is what helps this performance or not, but his performance as the Joker was absolutely amazing. Every time I watched it, he sent chills down my spine. From the way he talked to the way he walked and that terrifying laugh. The interrogation scene alone should earn him an Oscar in my opinion. Granted, I was against that at first because I thought everyone was saying it just because he died, but the more I think about that scene the more I think he truly deserves it over every other performance I’ve seen this year. Heath Ledger was a truly great actor with such amazing potential and he will be missed.

Best Scene Stealer Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder

 

If for nothing else, see Tropic Thunder for Tom Cruise’s performance as Les Grossman. I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard at a movie as I did with that character. The makeup and costume was perfect and priceless but the icing on the cake that made it all so great, Tom Cruise’s awesome hip hop dance moves.

Best Movie of the Year Iron Man I already explained why I love this movie. Dying to see the sequels and The Avengers movie.

 

Anticipation of 2009 There are some great movies I’m looking forward to next year here’s a list of the ones I’m looking forward to the most. 

 

            1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (I just wish it had dinobots)

            2. Watchmen (read the graphic novel, top notch)

            3. Terminator Salvation (finally, the movie they’ve hinted at for 20 years)

            4. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (the delay has driven me nuts)

            5. Inkheart (what can I say, I like Brendan Frasier)

            6. Star Trek (can’t believe I’m saying that, I never liked Star Trek)

            7. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (should be awesome, Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool)

            8. Angels & Demons (DaVinci code was fantastic)

            9. Race to Witch Mountain (I like Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson too)

            10. Fanboys (only a full two years after it was supposed to be released)

            11. Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian (first one was good)

            12. Pink Panther 2 (Steve Martin and John Cleese back together, be still my heart)

            13. The Box (Richard Kelly’s movies are insane)

            14. Up (I’m a sucker for Pixar movies)

            15. Monsters Vs Aliens (OH NO, HERE COMES… Susan!)

            16. 2012 (I also love apocalypse movies)

            17. G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (yet another 80’s cartoon gone serious movie)

            18. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (No Kate Beckingsale but Rhona Mitra!)

            19. Crank: High Voltage (just see the first, should be awesomely hilarious)

20. Sherlock Holmes (the good one with Robert Downey Jr. Directed by Guy Ritchie)

Yo, folks!  It's nearing that time - the gratuitous exchange of token gifts in the office.  While I'd really rather not, it seems to be an embedded custom.  I've previously gone the route of small skin care products from a very fine provider and then ballotins of hand-built chocolates from a boutique shop - about $10 a person for about a dozen people.  That seems extravagant this year, sad to say.  What do you do?

Listening to the airing of getting up early to put your turkey in the oven, many of us oldtimers have prepared the turkey/stuffing the night before.. perhaps for decades.....carefully wrapping,   washing with cold water, basting, buttering the skin, so why wait til morning to pop it into the oven!!!

   Esp. with the stuffing temp. at risk? News of the stuffing temp. staying at room temp in the deeper parts of the turkey.. . one year I decided to pop it into a slow oven and let the turkey bake while I was sleeping... due to travel time in the a.m.

This requires careful stuffing..buttering the skin, and adding  a little water...my secret is to put a raw apple quartered into the center to absorb excess 'grease' as the turkey slow-cooks. One part of the turkeys neck has mushroom onion stuffing and the inside has cranberry stuffing for choosey eaters....

Two years in a row I have put my turkey prepared as above into my oven at say 9-10 p.m.  or so and set my oven temp. at  250 degrees....setting my alarm for the wee  hrs. to drain excess licquid  that I save for gravy makings.. When I get up at  8 a.m. for the day; my turkey is deliciously golden and ready for the noontime meal...It is baked so slowly that the meat falls from the bone......a bit of imagination, sealed in foil insures the moistness of the beast!!    It is .cooked through and through....Removing the top foil at the wee hrs.  -1 a.m. or so--a bathroom break such as those of us who wake up in the night to potty!  This is the time to drain excess juices----- Well, that bathroom break is  wut happens as one enters the golden years.

  This frees my oven for those pies, casseroles, etc.

          This year we are taking mincemeat pie and a frozen keylime as my dau. will have the traditional pumpkin and my other dau. will bring a sweet potatoe pie...yes,   we are grateful for the opportunity to share our health and wealth and time with our loved ones....thinking of the military persons who are not so lucky while they are serving overseas!  Praying for their health, wealth, and happiness also when we are tucked safely in our homes. . .  now time to kick back and enjoy t.v., visit , and be thankful for our health.

      Carving the turkey comes at noon meal and also allows transport time to my grandkids house...  with the  cooked turkey in tow. . . wrapped to keep it warm..

 

     It is in the refrig today covered in foil and ready for  'rewarming' in another house!  Of course, put it back in the oven at 250 to rewarm. Enjoy!

  And you can practice on Thanksgiving
    * Holiday Eating Tips*
1.  Avoid carrot sticks.  Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit.  In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.  Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2.  Drink as much eggnog as you can.  And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare.  In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch.  You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up!  Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip?  It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something.  It's a treat. Enjoy it.  Have one for me. Have two.  It's later than you think.  It's Christmas!
3.  If something comes with gravy, use it.  That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone.  Pour it on.  Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes.  Fill it with gravy .  Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4.  As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk.  If it's skim, pass.  Why bother?  It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5.  Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating.  The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free.  Lots of it.  Hello?
6.  Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.  This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7.  If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge.  Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.  They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.  If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8.  Same for pies.  Apple.  Pumpkin.  Mincemeat.  Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.  Always have three.  When else do you get to have more than one dessert?  Labor Day?
9.  Did someone mention fruitcake?  Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost.  I mean, have some standards.
10.  One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.  Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Have a great holiday

...remember that peace is not God's gift to us; peace is our gift to each other.
Elie Wiesel, Nobel lecture, 1986

Ok, so to preface this blog, I have 3 beautiful children.  2 awesome boys ages 12 and 8 and a little not quite 2 year old diva.  Reminiscing back on how my boys were as babies I started to come to a realization...there IS a huge difference between boys and girls beyond anatomy, and it kind of scares me.  Now remember this is strictly non-scientific and based on 2 year olds.  And is completely satirical.  I love all 3 of the unconditionally.

Toys - The boys would play with anything they could get their hands on.  Especially if it makes noise.  If they couldn't figure it out they would move on to the next thing and go back to it later.  If we showed them how to use it the just ignored us and went on to the next thing.  Size didn't matter, color didnt matter, everything they owned was strung all throughout the house (and 6 and 10 years later that still hasnt changed but thats a whole nother story).

Now my daughter on the other hand is very meticulous about what she plays with.  She wants to know how everything works and if she cant figure it out she will shove it in our lap as hard as she can to make us show her.  Size does matter to her, the bigger and heavier it is the more she likes to throw it at us to show her how to make it work.  She will however, put her toy away after she is done using it and go on to the next one.

Ok and the only similarity I could find between the two was that she didn't really pay attention to us either when we showed her how to do it. 

People - My boys were very outgoing.  They would talk to people in the grocery store, at the restaurants anywhere there were people they would talk.  They didn't care as long as mom or dad was around

My daughter on the other hand wont talk to anyone she doesn't know.  She is very shy...until the person walks away.  Then she will talk up a storm.  But if that person turns around and acknowledges her her head is back in my arms.

Television -  I thought there would be a HUGE difference in what the kids preferred and I was right .  My boys actually liked the Arthur and educational cartoons like that.  My beautiful daughter on the other hand prefers the Justice League and the animated Transformers. (personally I think my boys had a little to do with that)

Reading - The boys love it when I read to them.  My daughter takes off with the book and looks through it herself. 

Dressing (or undressing) my boys were avid exhibitionists.  They would take off after getting their clothes taken off.  They had no care for humility.  They would show everyone their stuff at age 2.  My daughter....well ok she likes being naked too. I think my kids have issues.

 

Now to the conclusion, my boys are grown and pretty self sufficient aside from the "Whats for dinner and where are my socks"  But looking back on their baby years I'm thankful they were so easy.  But envisioning my daughter (who's 3 favorite things to have at once are a broken cell phone, her purse and my car keys) in the future, I think I'm hosed.

hey everyone well i guess it might be fun if i make a random question of the week so here this this weeks question:

which one of these would you be more willing to give up:

your computer

your car

 your cell phone

your job

your love of peanut butter

____________________________________________________
__________________

to answer this weeks random questions just leave a comment

  

Dear Abbey??   To h#*!^    with that,  I'm sending my question to Ozzy
 
 
 
 
Dear Ozzy,
 
 
    This morning before my wife went to work,  she handed me a C.D.  titled  "80's Hits"   and asked me to load it onto the computer.    Looking it over,  it listed 'artists'   to the likes of  Tears for Fears,  Culture Club,  Cyndi Lauper,  and the Thompson Twins.    I have never experienced such shear Terror  in all my life.   I quickly packed up my computer, my dog,  and all of my autographed sports paraphernalia,  jumped in my car and drove it like I stole it  'til  I got out of the county.   In hindsight,  I should've packed some clothes too. 
 
    Now,  my question is,  I left a partial 12 pack of beer in the garage fridge,  is it considered rude to call and ask her to ship it to me?
 
 
SINcerely,  Saved My Computer   in CoLorado

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull...or whatever the title is. I have finally come  to a conclusion. Sometimes you just have to let things go.

Let's look at a few examples.

Godfather 1 and 2...amazing movies! Godfather part 3...ehhhh...well it came in the box set I tell the wife.

Halloween 1 and 2...excellent horror flicks! 3 - hell 76??? Complete garbage unless you have the brain power of oatmeal. I mean 3 had nothing to do with Michael Myers...stupid Silver Shamrock bugs coming out your mouth masks.

Star Wars...oh man can you get better than the ones we grew up with?? These would be episodes 4 - 6. Then they went and did 1 - 3 and killed it for all of us old people. Sure the kids loved em and they sold alot more crappy toys...but they really did suck.

I look upon the Indiana Jones movies as I have so far on M.Night Shamalyan movies. The first one was GREAT!! The second one sucked. The 3rd one was GREAT. The 4th one sucked.

This hit and miss crap is getting on my nerves. But why do they do it? Because they know we will go out and pay money regardless of how crappy it is because of the name or the genre they have created.

Stephen King was an alcoholic and a coke addict...and wrote amazing stuff. He gets clean...gets hit by a car...and now puts out substandard material but yet makes millions still off of his name. That goes to show that Poe and Coleridge, who were opium addicts, knew never to give it up, otherwise their work would slip.

But there comes a time when ya gotta let something go. I mean I really never want to see Rocky 17 "Fight Over The Snack Pack". That nursing home thing I really hope never flies in the eyes of Hollywood.

Oh well, once again, a sad look into movies from your friendly neighborhood comic.

Dave

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes
the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle
it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and
she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the
Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws
open the door and begins to rant about the new
employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole
line is backing up, putting the entire production line
behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for
himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there
are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and
they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains
of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush
red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece
of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to
carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself
together and approaches Lena.

'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to
keep a straight face,
'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave
you yesterday...'

'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles'.

hehehehe

Dave

By Frosty Wooldridge

 

                                     "The trick is to die young as late

                                      as possible."

                                                       
      Ashley Montagu

 

          Through the years, I've picked up pedal partners during my travels around the world.  They've pedaled through 50 states with me for a glimpse of one of the wealthiest societies on the planet.  Sometimes, they discover different aspects to the United States of America than what they expected.

          Heading east on Route 64, my Australian friend John Brown and I had coasted more than ten miles off the plateau leading out of Grand Canyon National Park.  We stopped at the Chevron gas station where 64 intersects Route 89.  Our water supply was low from camping in the desert the night before, so we filled our bottles out of the station spigot.  I pumped air into my tires when John said he was ready to ride.  A few seconds later, I replaced the air hose, but nature called.

          "Gotta' hit the bathroom," I said, as I hopped off and leaned my bike against the station wall.

          When I returned, John had a puzzled look on his face.  He twisted around with one leg swung over the top tube and looked down the road.  He clicked his brake handles by pressing them and releasing in rapid succession.

          "What are you looking at?" I asked.

          "Don't know," he said. "I barely got a glimpse of a guy riding by on a mountain bike, at least, I think it was a mountain bike.  I don't know because he had gone by when I looked up from my map.  It was the strangest bike setup I've ever seen."

          "Let's catch up to him and find out," I said.

          We headed north on Route 89 into a blustery wind.  The highway swooped down a long incline into a valley.  Multicolored buttes and mesas slipped by us with sand swirling through the sagebrush alongside the road.  Minutes later, we spotted orange flags flapping from the back of what looked like a small wagon moving slowly in the breakdown lane.

          Up closer, we saw a bicycle loaded like a gypsy wagon.  Two dark blue mountain backpacks hung vertically stacked (in place of panniers) over the back wheel like saddlebags on a horse.  A tent, sleeping bag and mattress filled the middle section over the rack.  A wooden stick crossed in back where two orange flags hung out on the traffic side.  In the middle, like the back bumper on an old Cadillac, a spare tire hung from the stick.

          Pulling alongside the rider, I saw two blue front panniers under a plastic beige milk crate, which was braced, to the old-style flared Schwinn handlebars.  Two one-gallon white Clorox bottles hung from the handlebars, on both sides of the gooseneck.  A second set of Clorox bottles was tied to both backpacks behind the rider's arms.  Sitting up in the milk crate and with its head poked out of a six inch round hole in the cardboard cover, a black cat stared at me.  He appeared to be the navigator of this two wheeled road-ship.

          I slowed to eight miles per hour, to match the speed of a wrinkled old man spinning a low gear.  He wore blue work pants, high top leather work boots, a red nylon windbreaker, leather work gloves and an orange stocking cap.  His weatherworn face and thin, wiry frame cast a tall shadow under the morning sun.

          John and I introduced ourselves to the fifty-nine year old man who called himself Stan.  I asked him what kind of gear cluster he was cranking.  He said it was a 22 front chain ring "granny" to a 32-toothed rear end low gear.  That explained why he was going slowly and cranking fast.  He acted reserved, but as the miles unfolded, so did his astonishing story.

          "Thirteen years ago, my life lacked purpose, so I pressed the eject button on the plastic world.  I sold my computer company--bid farewell to what was left of my family and took off on my bicycle.  I've worn out three others until I came across this mountain bike.  I'll wear it out too, but so far, it's the best of the lot.  I've customized it over the years so it's able to carry the 200 pounds of gear I pack on it."

          "200 pounds!" I gasped.

          "That's right," Stan said. "This is my home. I never thought I would be on the road so long but I know I will never go home. I live on my investments.  My wife died of cancer and my kids don’t give a damn about anything.  If I had stayed in my job or tried to keep caring about things they didn't care about, I'd have gone nuts.  Instead, I decided to be happy."

          Our group rolled further into the desert as John and I probed Stan for more of his background.  Thirteen years on the road from Alaska, the Yukon Territory, through the USA, Mexico, Central America and to the bottom of South America.  Never the same road twice! With that many years on the road, he possessed the stuff of legends.  While he shared some of his experiences, the cat issued a "Meow."  Stan smiled.

          "This is my best friend Little Chum.  Life has had its disappointments, but Little Chum never lets me down.  He's great company and never complains.  He's cycled with me from Canada to Argentina with never an argument.  He sleeps during the day and prowls around my campsite at night.  We communicate unlike any two creatures.  Little Chum knows my mind."

          "Don't you ever get homesick for friends?" I asked.

          "No point in returning.  Life is today.  Anything else doesn't mean squat.  I don't look back, nor do I have any false aspirations.  I rarely think of home.  They are busy with their lives.  It's no longer my problem.  My philosophy deals with this instant.  Stan's Law states that wherever you are right now, bets are you're better off than you will be this time tomorrow."

          "What about expectations?" John asked.

          "No disappointments with my law," Stan replied. "You won't see me straining my neck around the next bend in the road or even talking about next week.  I keep a diary, but when it's full, I throw it in the fire."

          "What?" I gasped, nearly wavering into his packs.

          "What's in the past is done.  Besides, can you imagine carrying around 13 years of diaries?  I'm already too heavy. No! I never ride the same road twice and I don't think about yesterday.  I don't even care about yesterday."

          Stan sat erect in the saddle.  His smooth cadence complimented the millions of pedal strokes his legs had pounded out over the years.  Deep lines in his face showed a comfortable acceptance of life, as he knew it.  Stan was a road warrior.

          "Twenty-five miles is my daily target," he continued. "If I don't make it, so what?  On the flats, I average 8 to 10 miles an hour.  I figure I do a million foot pounds of work a year.  But I'm in no hurry.  Isn't that right Little Chum?"

          A faint meow came from inside the crate as Stan's legs spun their way through time.  I thought about my load of 60 pounds and my own travels that paled in contrast to Stan's.  What single event sent that intriguing human being toward his extraordinary destiny?  My amazement increased as Stan revealed a few episodes from his bicycle sojourn.

          "Hell, I've got enough roads to keep me busy 'til I die. I never think about how far I've gone or how far I'll go.  I stay in the Americas because there are sufficient experiences here."

          "Any funny ones?" I asked.

          "Hundreds," he said. "The one I cherish the most happened a few years back in the Yucatan of Mexico.  I was camped out one night in a stand of scrub trees.  As usual, I put Little Chum out for his nightly prowl.  I put my dentures in my coffee cup outside the tent.  I got tired of knocking them over at night and getting water on the floor.  Next morning, my teeth were missing, so I called to Little Chum.  He sniffed the cup and followed his nose to a burrow about 20 feet away from camp and started digging.  I helped him.  I pulled out sticks, fur balls and rodent skeletons before I got a foot into a pack rat's den. Wouldn't you know it, there were my teeth, smiling up at me.  I rinsed 'em off and popped 'em back in my mouth.  I tell you breakfast wouldn't have been the same that day without my teeth."

          We laughed before John asked, "Any dangerous times?"

          "My worst experience was in the Peruvian Andes when soldiers slashed through my tent with their bayonets cutting my shoulder at the same time.  They hauled me away to jail.  They interrogated me just like you see in the movies.  Bastards anyway!  I wrote letters to the U.S. Embassy until I got some attention.  My educational background and innocence got through to them.  A sergeant befriended me and even discussed Mark Twain while my tent was being repaired.  Two weeks later, I was released on a weekend, but since I didn't have any money until the banks opened on Monday, they let me stay in prison two more days.  I can tell you that Americans don't have any idea of how lucky they are living in a free country.  The kids growing up today take too much for granted.

          "Another time I camped out in a bad spot, but it was my fault.  I was tired and didn't think about where I set the tent down.  It was in a dry wash.  That night, a desert rainstorm drenched the area.  I woke up to water seeping into my tent.  I kept picking the floor up until a flood of water was pulling at every corner of my tent.  I looked out the flaps to see Little Chum standing on high ground with each lightning flash.  I was in the middle of a flood.  I leaped out of the tent as a wave of water swept it downstream.  For the next couple of hours, I sat in the rain, talking to myself on how stupid I was to set up the tent in such a bad place.  Little Chum was soaked to the bone and shivering.  In the morning, I tracked downstream and found my tent snagged on a stick.  I was lucky to recover everything."

          John and I kept trading places in order to hear Stan.  He proved a remarkable character.  I felt like a polliwog and he was the big daddy, the one who had gone before-- who knew the ways of the world.  His philosophy intrigued me even though I couldn't begin to live like that.  I had great expectations for each new day on a bicycle adventure.

          But that proved the key to his unusual life path.  That's the one thing about living and being human.  It's a miracle on this single green planet somewhere out in the black void of space.  It gives a beginning and a lifetime later, it ends.  What we do in the interim is our choice.  We're given certain abilities and intelligence, but for those of us born in a free country--we can decide our life choices.  What's more important, we can change our decisions at anytime.

          As for me, I am a professional cloud watcher.  Clouds are not in a hurry.  They change so slowly that most people never notice, never look up.  But each of us CAN look.  That's what Stan is doing.  He's out there tonight under the stars, filling his days with living.   Stan doesn't complain, nor does he live in desperation.  He allows the wind to caress his cheeks and shoulders.  Its stormy fingers play in his hair, and the rain cleanses his spirit.  The stars, moon and sun have shared sweet secrets with him in the morning dew.  He makes love with nature on his bicycle.  Stan celebrates the moment.

          Ahead of us in the afternoon a crossroads appeared.  Stan pedaled through it without looking back as we turned east.

          "Take care guys," he said.

          We watched his orange flags vanish over the hill.  John and I continued our transcontinental trek with new ideas about life. The one thing that dismayed us most was Stan's disregard for the diaries he had thrown into the fire.  But that was Stan.  If it weren't for the way he lived, we would never have known about his teeth smiling up from the bottom of a pack rat's hideout.

Exerpt from: Chapter 7: Stan the Nomadic Road Warrior--"Bicycling Around the World: Tire Tracks for Your Imagination"  www.amazon.com; www.barnesandnoble.com ; www.frostywooldridge.com 

Frosty Wooldridge, a Colorado math/science teacher, has bicycled across six continents – from the Arctic to the South Pole – as well as six times across the USA, coast to coast and border to border.  In 2005, he bicycled from the Arctic Circle, Norway to Athens, Greece.  He presents "The Coming Population Crisis in Colorado/America: and what you can do about it" to civic clubs, church groups, high schools and colleges.  He has appeared on NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, FOX and 200 radio shows.  He works to bring about sensible world population balance at www.frostywooldridge.com

 

 

By Frosty Wooldridge

                           

                                 "Courage is one thing.  A sense of

                                  purpose another.  When you put them

                                  together in one human being, the

                                  world can be changed."   

                                                       
              John Brown

 

          That first summer bicycle tour, I pedaled through heavy traffic for the beginning of my coast to coast bicycle adventure.   The Los Angeles smog choked me for 100 miles into the Mojave Desert.  After crossing the Colorado River, I breathed easier when the ‘Brown Cloud’ flowed south toward Phoenix.  I pedaled into cleaner air in the mountains.  Climbing steep grades took hours while coasting down the backside took only 30 minutes. 

          In New Mexico, I crossed the continental divide and descended into the desert on Route 380.  With a blazing sun overhead, I struggled along the two-lane pavement.  Sweat dripped from my face and arms.  Every breath crowded my mouth with what felt like dry, hot cotton balls.  Heat waves rippled over the pavement as I descended further into the barren landscape.   Boulders and cacti stood like indolent sentries guarding the land from intruders.  The thermometer hit 103 degrees by the time I pedaled to the outskirts of Roswell, New Mexico. 

          Ahead, a lone figure walked along the left side of the road.  I found it difficult imagining anyone walking down the highway in that torrid temperature.

          "I wonder what that guy's doing walking in this heat?" I muttered to myself.  "Looks like he's got a dog with him, too."

          A minute later:

"That isn't a dog," I gasped, doubting my eyes, and straining harder to make out what I saw.

          It was another man walking on his hands.  Within a few seconds, I found out why.  His legs were missing!

          Less than forty yards away, the lone figure walked and read a book while the other man walked on his hands.  A camper van was parked on the shoulder a half mile ahead.  I rode up even with them.  Something inside made me stop and drop my bike in the gravel. 

          I couldn't help crossing the road, knowing that whomever this man was, he possessed inconceivable courage.  What was he doing out here walking on his hands in the desert?  He saw me and stopped.  He lowered his body down to the ground, resting it on a leather pad that covered his two severed legs just below the groin.  His Paul Bunyan upper arms led down to his hands, which grasped two rubber pads.  Sweat soaked his T-shirt.  His dark hair framed a tanned, round face punctuated by a pair of clear brown eyes. He flashed a beautiful smile.

          "Hi, how ya' doin'?" I said approaching with my hand extended. "My name is Frosty."

          "Glad to meet you," he said shaking my hand. "I'm Bob Wieland."

          "Pleasure to meet you," I said. "I gotta' tell you Bob, I'm more than a bit curious seeing you out here in the desert."

          "The same could be said about you," he said. "What are you doing out here?"

          "I'm riding my bicycle across America."

          "That makes two of us," Bob added. "I'm walking across.  I'd bike but my legs are too short for the pedals."

          I laughed.  His humor proved natural.  We bantered a few minutes about the weather.  Bob gave me a short history of his journey.  He started in San Francisco and climbed up to Yosemite National Park.  He crossed over many 6,000 to 8,000 foot passes.  His friend fixed meals, but often, people asked them into their homes for the night.   If no one offered a night’s lodging, both men slept in the back of the camper pickup.  His friend drove the vehicle ahead and came back to walk with him.  His companion read a book while guiding Bob down the left side of the highway.   Bob lost his legs in combat.  I asked him when he had started.

          "I've been out 19 months and have completed 980 miles," he said. "At my speed, I can finish this adventure in three more years, maybe less."

          "Why are you doing it?" I asked.

          "There's a lot of adventure out here on the road.  I suppose I could sit back and get fat watching TV for the next fifty years, but I want to do something with my life.  I want to make a difference.  I have to make do with what I have left.  You know the saying, you only go around once."

          "You have my greatest admiration," I said, shaking his hand again.

It was one of those moments where you don’t quite know what to do or say.  I just met the most incredibly courageous man in my whole life who was looking up at me from the pavement.  His legs were gone.  He was a man, but he stood only three feet high.  His hands had become his feet.  That gray leather pad belted to his bottom like a baby diaper.  Those rubber pads on his hands gave him wheel tread for his arduous journey. I gasped inside myself at the enormity of his quest.

"Guess I better get moving,” I said, reluctantly.

          "Take care," Bob said. "Have a good ride.  I'll get there one of these days."

          “There’s no doubt that you will reach the Atlantic Ocean,” I said.

          While turning away from that amazing human being, tears filled my eyes.  I started crying half way across the road.  What he was attempting staggered my imagination.  My friends thought I was nuts taking a transcontinental bicycle trip, but they had no understanding of how easy I had it compared to Bob Wieland. 

After crossing the highway, I pulled my bike out of the dirt.  I took a swig of water.  I stepped onto the pedals.  I pressed my iron steed eastward into the hot morning sun.  I cried for miles at the senselessness of war.  I cried for Bob and I cried for humanity.  Miles and years down the road--that moment colors my mind as vividly as the day it happened. 

          Most human beings possess handicaps in one way or the other--physical or psychological.  Most importantly, it’s how they handle their limitations.  He concentrated on what he could do, not on what he couldn't do.  Instead of giving up, Bob pushed forward into the unknown not only determined to succeed, but expecting to succeed. 

          George Bernard Shaw celebrated people like Wieland when he wrote, "This is the true joy of living, spending your years for a purpose recognized by yourself as a right one...to be used up when they throw you on the scrap heap of life.  To have been a force of nature instead of a selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

          Bob Wieland pushed himself through 3,400 miles of hardship that few people could comprehend.  He gutted his way up mountains, sweated his way across deserts, and fought through raging storms.  Every labored breath drew him closer to his goal.

          Two years later, I listened to NPR radio while eating breakfast one morning. Bob Wieland reached the Atlantic Ocean thus succeeding in his quest to walk on his hands coast to coast across America.  It took him three years, eight months and six days.  In 1996, he completed a 6,200 mile bicycle circuit, using his hands, twice across America.  In 1994, People Magazine awarded him one of the six “Most Amazing Americans” in the past 20 years  He’s the only double amputee to complete the Ironman Triathlon in Kona, Hawaii without a wheelchair.  He ran and completed the New York, LA and Marine Marathons. The list continues to grow!

          I sat at the breakfast table crying like a baby because that man gave me courage to face my own struggles from that one meeting in the New Mexico desert.  I’m sure he touched thousands more on his remarkable journey across America.  Here’s to you, Bob Wieland, to your courage, your humor, your passion and your life.

Chapter 4: Walking Across Ameria on His Hands from adventure book, "BICYCLING AROUND THE WORLD: TIRE TRACKS FOR YOUR IMAGINATION" by Frosty Wooldridge  www.barnesandnoble.com ; www.borders.com ; www.frostywooldridge.com 

More than 50 astounding stories from six continents around the globe from the Arctic to Anatarctica on a bicycle.

 

##

Frosty Wooldridge has bicycled six times across the USA coast to coast and border to border.  He bicycled more than 100,000 miles across six continents from the Arctic Ocean to Antarctica.  He is the author of “Handbook for Touring Bicyclists”; “Bicycling Around the World”; “Bicycling the Continental Divide: A Taste of Heaven, Slice of Hell”.  

 

im not new here you might remember me as Polarbearlover24 i just forgot my password but i like to blog here in my free time but ive finally started middle school and i love it!!!

  

Miley Cyrus is a famous person now. From her acting to singing. She is a good person right? Well i have to disagree on that. Why you may  ask. But her choices that she  commits are wrong and are affecting children everywhere.Some parents are blaming this teen star.Should she quit? what do you think?

I do not want to get more into detail because it good end up bad