As I sit in my run down shack my thoughts race about how miserable my life has lead me, if it weren’t for my computer I would truly be lifeless. I blog and blog and blog some more, I blog on multiple sites gracing everyone with my vast knowledge of life and yet I have no life, I sit and wonder how many people are on to the fact I suffer from social retardation. I lash out at people of who I have no knowledge of and try so very hard to find fault in all. When I sit in my own reality and realize I am friendless and really have never figured out how to make friends, but I sit by myself in my little Disneyland of a lonely world and try to convince all how wonderful I really am.
As I search in vein for a travel agent for my ego trip I have lost all hope knowing a ego is all I have and I am going to be solitaire in my own fascination of what I believe is true greatness. As I have become a master blogger practicing everyday all-day and in everyway I still struggle with the fact I have a boogyman living in my huge head, He is relentless and is with my every thought sometimes months go by and he never appears but yet I know he is there, I hear is voice but have never heard his voice, I see his face but have never seen his face, I get him locked out but he always gets back in, why is it he owns me? How did I sell my soul to him. How is it he is liked by all, and I by none, why is it my biggest accomplishment is insulting those who refuse to believe my ideology and it is always the boogyman that reminds me that I am just a small minded man , why do I allow this boogyman to live rent-free in my head. How is it this boogyman knows I don’t even believe my own garbage I spew.
My greatest fear is there is no locked door from the boogyman, I lock one door and he come in from another. I cry and I snivel to anyone who will listen, they try to lock more doors but he is back in. When will I ever stop and realize this is just a boogyman who owns my blogging world, when will I realize this boogyman controls my paranoia. No matter how many bloggers I have victimized thinking they could be the boogyman, the truth be known, I never will ever know who is the real boogyman . I wish I could live my blogging life with out being owned. Maybe someday I will realize, the boogyman is the boogyman and there is no controlling the boogyman,no matter how bad I whine and cry like a little yellow puppy.
